Anthropology is interesting for two reasons. One, it tells
you so much about what you need to know about why we do what we do. Two, it
tells you so much more than that.
An article by a leading anthropologist claims that we take
not more than three minutes to size up a potential mate. This is something we
have developed as part of our intuition over years. So the next time you meet
that smooth talking, intelligent and deep voiced suit clad man, go ahead and
trust your instincts. Scary isn’t it? Oh yes, love is scary. In fact it is also
way more complicated than we thought it to be.
In a TEDTalk by Dr. Helen Fisher, she describes love as not
an emotion but a drive. It is like a wanting, something we crave for. It is an
elevated state of being where even the most mundane thing done by the person we
love seems extraordinary. You want this person and you just can’t stop thinking
about him/her. It is like the photo frame just stuck to the back of your brain
with super glue. It is the most amazing feeling in the world and it is no wonder
we all live to “be in love”. It is further explained that our brain is divided
into three parts- lust, romantic love and attachment. As a result we are hard
wired to love many people at the same time but in various degrees of intensity.
She goes on to say that “I don't think, honestly, we're an animal that was
built to be happy; we are an animal that was built to reproduce”
This is also the reason for our suffering. We associate love
to being happy while the reality is just the opposite. Love is about pain, the
incessant itch to be with this person. It is not being happy with the person;
it is having the ability to tolerate him/her. Haven't we all wondered how easy
it is to over look the mistake of that one person we love the most in the
world? Love activates the part of the brain secreting dopamine. It gives you
the same rush as cocaine. It is an obsession like someone is camping in your
head. Love activates the reward system, the system responsible for our
motivation in life. And as we all know, it gets stronger the difficult it is to
achieve a task. This explains why the harder it is to get the person, the more
you seem to want him/her. As you are trying to forget the person who rejected
you, your scum bag brain is increasing your motivation to get him/her back. And
then you listen to a song that reminds you of him/her and it all comes back
like nothing ever happened.
We were thinking love is about walking hand in hand on a
tree lined road or simply lying on a beach looking at the stars. Well, it is
much more than that. Our need to love and be loved is what drives and decides
what we do in our lives. Don't you worry too much; just enjoy the feeling of being
in love. One day at a time. In spite of all the pain it delivers, love still
creates the magic.
Knowing all this is it wiser to stay away from it? Possibly
not. Biologically impossible in fact. A world without love is a deadly place
that we all know. All I would say is that love is like a chocolate cake, just enjoy it while it lasts. You can count
the calories later.