It is another ordinary Saturday. You wake up; breathe the weekend air and gear up to get over the long and winding week. Your social calendar seems pretty packed-lunch with friends, movies, dinner plan with the “good friend”, chai time catching up with relatives, etc. With excitement twinkling in your eyes, you get ready to dress up for the day. And then it happens-the unthinkable. You are trying the last-year-pinky didi’s wedding-wala salwar kameez and it plainly refuses to fit. That striped t-shirt you had brought three months back now highlights your uncle-like paunch. It is right there, the stubborn shapelessness, mocking at you in your face. Then the realization of being out of shape starts to sink in and like snake venom it leaves a burning sensation behind as it courses along.
The obsession of everyone around you with shape rather than fitness drives you further down the lane. You start adopting low-fat, low-carb and definitely low-fun diets. The butter in butter chicken is now of the ‘lite’ variety and the idea of skipping the essential naan which was plain unthinkable earlier is now your reality. And who on earth can eat only cornflakes for breakfast every day? Ridiculous you yell. Salad was never a ‘meal’ before and desserts turn into something strictly for fantasies only. The junk food is the culprit, you blame and so are the chicken kebabs you have with the weekend drink. Then, you end up watching what you eat instead of eating what you watch. You meticulously cut out all articles related to health and fitness, making mental notes of what all to include in your diet. Google brings in the information on celebrity diets.”I am on South-beach-whatever diet” is so much cooler than normal stuff naa!! Losing weight is probably the task on the resolution list of many.
But all this doesn’t help you shed those extra five kilos you seemed to have mysteriously piled up. Your optimistic side gently reminds you of the uselessness of dwelling on how it all started and infuses the much needed motivation to work on solutions. You analyze, plan and design a wonder diet to help you get that lean look. You even diligently attach the same to the refrigerator. The alarm is set to a ridiculous time-six o’clock in the morning for the ‘daily’ workout and the running shoes and gym clothes make a rare and a rather special entry in the chaos. Discussions often end up with exchanging notes on gyms, gym-trainers, thigh muscle exercises and crunches. You somehow manage to put all the theory to good use. Puffing and panting, you finish the recommended workout. Drenched in the sweet sweat of glory, you look up to face the world with renewed pride and then your eyes fall on ‘him’. (Let’s call him the gym-junkie for now to massage your fragile ego).The gym-junkie is this nonchalant guy in the corner counting his crunches. The counting immediately reminds you of Sachin Tendulkar’s ever increasing runs because exercise makes you over-imagine it as well and all your glory comes to a shattering fall. His muscles flex and his toned-abs are worth dying for. If you are a girl, you end up looking at him a little longer, if not then you rush home to dissolve your anger in the aloo parantha with soft butter spread on it of course.
The day later, you start claiming that gyms are a corporate scam trying to drain your slim bank balance. The weighing machine is sold to the local junk collector after it shows a meager 1.8 kilos loss in your weight. You don’t give up, no way, you just move on. The purpose more firm and the technique more refined and the acceptance of those extra five kilos more satisfying. Now, the salad is your new best friend, the paneer makes a silent comeback and you are comfortable in indulging your sweet tooth. You make a slow transition from “I want to be slim” to “I want to be healthy”. Add to that you take Julia Robert’s advice on buying jeans-if the older ones don’t fit you get a larger size. Everything is going just fine for you but then one day the ghost of your past comes to haunt you. You are enjoying the chicken biryani with the creamy raita and the Shilpa Shetty work out showcases on the TV. You look at it once, slightly nervous but then sharply breathe in and let out a silly laugh and your gym-bag rolls in its grave.
The obsession of everyone around you with shape rather than fitness drives you further down the lane. You start adopting low-fat, low-carb and definitely low-fun diets. The butter in butter chicken is now of the ‘lite’ variety and the idea of skipping the essential naan which was plain unthinkable earlier is now your reality. And who on earth can eat only cornflakes for breakfast every day? Ridiculous you yell. Salad was never a ‘meal’ before and desserts turn into something strictly for fantasies only. The junk food is the culprit, you blame and so are the chicken kebabs you have with the weekend drink. Then, you end up watching what you eat instead of eating what you watch. You meticulously cut out all articles related to health and fitness, making mental notes of what all to include in your diet. Google brings in the information on celebrity diets.”I am on South-beach-whatever diet” is so much cooler than normal stuff naa!! Losing weight is probably the task on the resolution list of many.
But all this doesn’t help you shed those extra five kilos you seemed to have mysteriously piled up. Your optimistic side gently reminds you of the uselessness of dwelling on how it all started and infuses the much needed motivation to work on solutions. You analyze, plan and design a wonder diet to help you get that lean look. You even diligently attach the same to the refrigerator. The alarm is set to a ridiculous time-six o’clock in the morning for the ‘daily’ workout and the running shoes and gym clothes make a rare and a rather special entry in the chaos. Discussions often end up with exchanging notes on gyms, gym-trainers, thigh muscle exercises and crunches. You somehow manage to put all the theory to good use. Puffing and panting, you finish the recommended workout. Drenched in the sweet sweat of glory, you look up to face the world with renewed pride and then your eyes fall on ‘him’. (Let’s call him the gym-junkie for now to massage your fragile ego).The gym-junkie is this nonchalant guy in the corner counting his crunches. The counting immediately reminds you of Sachin Tendulkar’s ever increasing runs because exercise makes you over-imagine it as well and all your glory comes to a shattering fall. His muscles flex and his toned-abs are worth dying for. If you are a girl, you end up looking at him a little longer, if not then you rush home to dissolve your anger in the aloo parantha with soft butter spread on it of course.
The day later, you start claiming that gyms are a corporate scam trying to drain your slim bank balance. The weighing machine is sold to the local junk collector after it shows a meager 1.8 kilos loss in your weight. You don’t give up, no way, you just move on. The purpose more firm and the technique more refined and the acceptance of those extra five kilos more satisfying. Now, the salad is your new best friend, the paneer makes a silent comeback and you are comfortable in indulging your sweet tooth. You make a slow transition from “I want to be slim” to “I want to be healthy”. Add to that you take Julia Robert’s advice on buying jeans-if the older ones don’t fit you get a larger size. Everything is going just fine for you but then one day the ghost of your past comes to haunt you. You are enjoying the chicken biryani with the creamy raita and the Shilpa Shetty work out showcases on the TV. You look at it once, slightly nervous but then sharply breathe in and let out a silly laugh and your gym-bag rolls in its grave.
Good one! Very detailed. Moral of the story: the extra 5 kilos are great. No worries until they go till 10
@sanket:i like the moral.
Haha...I am in your club of making mean stories about the gym and enjoying sugar-spice-and everything nice:).Everyone goes through the brief stint of adopting a healthy lifestyle and eating stuff which taste like feet or mud,but it doesn't last for too long.
Being melodramatically self sacrificing,the bigger u get,there is more of you for others to love:D
@purna--thanks.
Hahaahaaa - "Then, you end up watching what you eat instead of eating what you watch" this is too good. :P