15 May was a different day. Kaajal was lying on the floor staring at the ceiling fan. The hot air was moving around her ears, whispering her muffled thoughts. She raised her hand to move her hair from her face. This made the empty glass lying next to her to tip. It rolled noisily and stopped near the pile of newspapers. She didn’t bother to pick it up.15 May was after all, a very different day.
The room was carelessly littered. Four different newspapers and a couple of magazines were strewn around. Three empty bottles of beer stood near the TV remote. There was a cup of white porcelain near a half eaten packet of Good day biscuits and Fruitloops.It had tea stains near its brim. The room however, didn’t smell of tea leaves. A tall glass which stood near a plate of half cut lemons made the entire room smell of alcohol. A DVD of Serendipity was near the pillow. The ceiling fan was trying its best to nullify the sweltering heat outside. In its attempt it made the Kitkat wrapper move about in small circles in the room. And for some reason, the girl didn’t switch on the air conditioner.
Kaajal moved onto her left side and picked up the DVD. It had a small yellow note stuck to its cover. It read ‘happy birthday lucky girl’. ”yeah, lucky girl alright…” she muttered and kept it back. She reached for the packet of Fruit loops, and while munching on them she gulped down the last of what was left in the tall glass.
Kaajal was now sitting cross-legged on the floor, massaging her temples. She opened her eyes and looked into the large mirror to her right. A girl in her late teens stared back. She was wearing an old green t-shirt and a pair of striped pajamas. The girl was attractive with an intelligent face and certain rebelliousness was dancing in her eyes. She picked up the packet of cigarettes lying next to her and toyed with the packet for a few minutes. The plastic cover was still there on the unopened packet. She opened the packet and carefully removed one long cigarette and placed it between her lips. She immediately looked at the girl in the mirror. A naughty smile made her lips to part slightly and she winked back at that girl.
She started her search for the lighter. After a one minute search, the lighter was clasped in her palm. The cold silver body had an embossing of a tiger on its front and the other side read ‘Just do it’. This made her smile even more. The first cigarette she puffed was slow and deliberate. The initial fumes made her cough. She couldn’t swallow the smoke and felt slightly nauseated by it. The room slightly started to spin and strange lights danced in front of her eyes. She stopped for a minute, staring at the burning stick and observantly rolling it between her fingers at the same time. She moved it close to the dry lips and closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and took a drag. The next puff was more calculated. She let the smoke pass through her throat and into her lungs. She slowly let the smoke out of her mouth. This is it; she thought .The room was now very quiet except for the low buzzing near her ears. Kaajal felt more relaxed now and she was ready for the next one. The next few puffs were finished quickly. She tried to maintain her balance. The floor was cold and she couldn’t sit straight. So she moved towards the bed with the packet and lighter in her hand.
Having quickly finished the first, she quickly moved to the second one. Her technique more refined and her purpose more resolute. Midway through her second, her throat started to burn. She sipped some water to soothe it but the water tasted funny and the burning didn’t stop. It was her stubbornness perhaps, or her stupidity which made her finish the second cigarette. Her eyes started to water. Whether it was the smoke or something else she didn’t know.”Screw it, must be the smoke”, she lied. The fumes filled her lungs and the hollowness in her heart. Nothing in the room was visible to her. Everything was now just a blurred vision. Her head was slightly spinning and hurting now but this didn’t stop her from moving on to the third one.
...
Kaajal woke up 45 minutes later covered in sweat and drool .The cigarette packet was half finished and Kaajal didn’t remember anything after the second cigarette.
...
Two and a half years have passed since then, Kaajal still has the lighter and the half-finished packet of cigarettes .Carefully stored in a box. Untouched but not forgotten.
The room was carelessly littered. Four different newspapers and a couple of magazines were strewn around. Three empty bottles of beer stood near the TV remote. There was a cup of white porcelain near a half eaten packet of Good day biscuits and Fruitloops.It had tea stains near its brim. The room however, didn’t smell of tea leaves. A tall glass which stood near a plate of half cut lemons made the entire room smell of alcohol. A DVD of Serendipity was near the pillow. The ceiling fan was trying its best to nullify the sweltering heat outside. In its attempt it made the Kitkat wrapper move about in small circles in the room. And for some reason, the girl didn’t switch on the air conditioner.
Kaajal moved onto her left side and picked up the DVD. It had a small yellow note stuck to its cover. It read ‘happy birthday lucky girl’. ”yeah, lucky girl alright…” she muttered and kept it back. She reached for the packet of Fruit loops, and while munching on them she gulped down the last of what was left in the tall glass.
Kaajal was now sitting cross-legged on the floor, massaging her temples. She opened her eyes and looked into the large mirror to her right. A girl in her late teens stared back. She was wearing an old green t-shirt and a pair of striped pajamas. The girl was attractive with an intelligent face and certain rebelliousness was dancing in her eyes. She picked up the packet of cigarettes lying next to her and toyed with the packet for a few minutes. The plastic cover was still there on the unopened packet. She opened the packet and carefully removed one long cigarette and placed it between her lips. She immediately looked at the girl in the mirror. A naughty smile made her lips to part slightly and she winked back at that girl.
She started her search for the lighter. After a one minute search, the lighter was clasped in her palm. The cold silver body had an embossing of a tiger on its front and the other side read ‘Just do it’. This made her smile even more. The first cigarette she puffed was slow and deliberate. The initial fumes made her cough. She couldn’t swallow the smoke and felt slightly nauseated by it. The room slightly started to spin and strange lights danced in front of her eyes. She stopped for a minute, staring at the burning stick and observantly rolling it between her fingers at the same time. She moved it close to the dry lips and closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and took a drag. The next puff was more calculated. She let the smoke pass through her throat and into her lungs. She slowly let the smoke out of her mouth. This is it; she thought .The room was now very quiet except for the low buzzing near her ears. Kaajal felt more relaxed now and she was ready for the next one. The next few puffs were finished quickly. She tried to maintain her balance. The floor was cold and she couldn’t sit straight. So she moved towards the bed with the packet and lighter in her hand.
Having quickly finished the first, she quickly moved to the second one. Her technique more refined and her purpose more resolute. Midway through her second, her throat started to burn. She sipped some water to soothe it but the water tasted funny and the burning didn’t stop. It was her stubbornness perhaps, or her stupidity which made her finish the second cigarette. Her eyes started to water. Whether it was the smoke or something else she didn’t know.”Screw it, must be the smoke”, she lied. The fumes filled her lungs and the hollowness in her heart. Nothing in the room was visible to her. Everything was now just a blurred vision. Her head was slightly spinning and hurting now but this didn’t stop her from moving on to the third one.
...
Kaajal woke up 45 minutes later covered in sweat and drool .The cigarette packet was half finished and Kaajal didn’t remember anything after the second cigarette.
...
Two and a half years have passed since then, Kaajal still has the lighter and the half-finished packet of cigarettes .Carefully stored in a box. Untouched but not forgotten.
